Forgive This Prangry Pastor
Have you heard someone say they were “hangry?” It’s become a popular, newish term to describe how irritable a person is when their hungry. Thus, hungry + angry = hangry.
You may have not used the word, but likely you understand it’s meaning and if you’re like me, you have been hangry at times and know how it happens.
Dr. Kristin Lindquist, professor in psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina co-authored a study titled “Feeling Hangry? When Hunger Is Conceptualized as Emotion.” Through a series of tests, it was concluded that people, when hungry, are more likely to be negative mentally. This leads to harsh tones, shortness of responses, and a clear angry look on individual’s face.[1]
The cross and message of the gospel is offensive to the unsaved because it stands against personal pride and desire to control one’s destiny. It is an affront to the one seeking salvation through knowledge and the accumulation of philosophical teachings. It also declares that apart from Christ we are immoral, sinful beings. Thus, the cross is offensive. Therefore, as a Christian and pastor I would gladly preach such offense because I know it is the truth of the gospel that truly sets us free.
Preaching the truth of the gospel unapologetically is not a synonymous with preaching the truth in love. While I can say I sought to preach in love, an irritable spirit, not intentional, but very real, was leading me to make a very strange shift once I stood on our stage behind the pulpit.
When I was in junior high school our pastor had taped on the pulpit a small piece of paper with this written upon it – “Let them see Jesus.” I am certain this was not original with him, but as a young boy hanging out at church, and at times climbing up on the stage and looking around, I would see this. Even as a thirteen-year-old this impacted me. I understood what it said and even then, I discerned what it meant. When Pastor Peck stood up to preach he was not just giving his opinion on current events of biblical topics, but was opening the Word of God to the church under his leadership. He did not want to risk ever allowing pride, frustration, fatigue, or sin to keep those hearing the sermons each Lord’s Day from seeing and hearing the message of Christ.
That impacted me then.
It still does.
The call to preach in the era of celebrity can be muddied, but ultimately, the faithfully, well-intentioned pastor enters the ministry for the glory of God. I know this and am so thankful for those who have impacted me, continue to do so, and in the church where I serve, truly paved the way.
That is why being “prangry” can be so devastating.
We all have seen the caricatures and stereotypes of the angry preacher who spits and yells and bangs his fist on the pulpit during the sermon. Some of you may have grown up with that experience. Others are there now. Some of you are fired up by the passion of such a preacher. I guess that is better than being unemotional. However, sometimes angriness can be confused with spiritual fervor.
There certainly are times when pastors and Christians will be and should be angry. God created us in his image and our anger is not always sinful. There is a righteous anger that glorifies God. Even Christ showed this in the scene that most often comes to mind when speaking of this – the turning over of tables in the Temple (See Matthew 21, Mark 11, & John 2.) The fact of the matter is that sometimes I may declare righteousness in my anger when I am simply angry…and unrighteous.
There are times I don’t even know I’m angry, much less why?
Maybe it is stress? Maybe it is burnout? Maybe it is just busyness? Maybe it is jealousy of other churches and pastors? Maybe it is the season in our church’s life where every day is another maintenance, facilities, or financial issue? Maybe it is my age? Maybe it is frustration about other people? Maybe it is none of that?
Maybe the answer is not identifying exactly what that one thing is that is the issue. You know the straw alone isn’t heavy, but that one, final straw was the one that broke the camel’s back. I don’t want that. I know you don’t either.
Stress is a reality for everyone. There is good stress in life. However, sometimes the good stress can morph into something deadly. Often, we cannot even recognize it. While others notice, they may not know what is really going on. They just know something is off. If you serve in a position of authority (boss, coach, team leader, pastor, etc.) many may shy away from addressing it with you (even if they like and love you) for fear of confrontation.
Are You Doing Okay?
Thankfully, some dear friends and others in ministry have felt the freedom to come to me in love and broach the question many fear asking. The question is simply, “Are you doing okay?”
This is the “one another” of Christian life being lived out. It is so good.
The answer to the “Are you doing okay?” question is “sure,” because it is supposed to be. Sometimes that is the answer because whatever is stirring inside remains a mystery and honestly…there are no words.
However, there freedom when one is honest and just says … “I don’t know.” And that may be all that is needed.
“Are you doing okay?”
“I don’t know.”
Now, we’re getting somewhere.
I needed that question. Was it a confrontation? No, not really. An intervention? Maybe, but I don’t think it was intended to be that. It was simply a conversation that eventually led to the question and once asked and answered, the tension melted (I did not even know there was tension within me at that point.)
David Murray, in his excellent book for pastors titled Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture addresses this and more. I won’t repost all the things I have highlighted in his book because that would basically be a reposting of the entire book. Yet, there are nuggets of gold in the book that would be helpful for all pastors and ministry leaders.
Everyone Is Dealing With Something
I do not doubt there are many in our church family facing numerous, varied stressors right now. It may be financial, relational, family-centered, or more. I also know some who are pretty angry … just about all the time. It shows on their respective faces. It is heard in how they talk to their spouses and children. I see it. I hear it. Everyone else does, too. And…I’ll be frank, it seems that as their shepherd, I have slid into modeling ungodly anger at times. Thus, saying without saying, that petty, sinful anger is good.
So goes the shepherd. So go the sheep.
Thus, I confess the sin of prangry. I repent to the Lord and our church. Even those who did not think anything was off, and I am certain that is likely most people.
Let Them See Jesus
Standing behind the pulpit, the holy desk, with the Word of God open before me and my role to declare the truth unapologetically, clearly, and with grace and love is a heavy burden and blessed gift. I do not take it lightly and I do not wish to run from that responsibility.
Yet, as Pastor Peck’s taped-on pulpit note reminds me, I truly want to let you and all who are in our gatherings, see Jesus.
I cannot glorify God by being prangry.
There’s more to pastoring and leading than simply the one hour on stage on a Sunday morning. I know you know that. Yet, for many, that hour is all they see. It is all they hear. It is all they get. And…they too are wearing their backpack full of stressors with them everywhere. Even to church on Sunday mornings.
As I prepare for upcoming sermons, my preparation has shifted. My sermons remain heavily and rightly focused and drawn from the scripture. I am committed to the expository preaching of God’s Word verse-by-verse. Yet now, I find that I am able to recognize instances of “not okay” that would have been written into, and actually were part of previous sermons. Those fleshly statements of frustration, anger, self-righteousness, and ungraciousness are absent in my new sermon notes. For now. I pray forever.
Simply writing this or deciding not to be prangry does not and cannot change this reality. I am not strong nor wise enough to make that change on my own. Yet, God is, and confession of one’s sin is healing and redemptive. Talking with others, gaining wise counsel, and addressing honestly the things that often are ignored within, lead to freedom and the true joy of the Lord.
May I continually “let them see Jesus.”
That’s my prayer for other pastors as well.
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[1] Spector, Nicole. “The Science behind Being ‘Hangry.’” NBCNews.Com, NBCUniversal News Group, 19 July 2018, www.nbcnews.com/better/pop-culture/science-behind-being-hangry-ncna887806.
[2] Lloyd-Jones, Martyn. “The Offence of the Cross - a Sermon from Dr. Martyn Lloyd Jones.” A Sermon on Galatians 6:14, www.mljtrust.org/sermons/other-sermons/the-offence-of-the-cross/. Accessed 29 Aug. 2024.