Answering Questions from Teenagers - “Does God Hate Me When I Sin?”

Our pastors will be addressing a few questions that came from our teenagers during youth camp this year. These questions reveal a true desire for answers, for truth, and for guidelines on what do to in specific situations. We are thankful our teenagers have the freedom to ask, and we will attempt to provide solid, biblically-founded, gospel-centered answers to each.

“God hates sin. Does that mean God hates me when I sin?”

Hate is a very strong word and when describing God’s view of sin, it is not wrong to use the word hate. In fact, the psalmist and others referenced such in Scripture. But why does God hate sin? Primarily because of his nature. Sin is the antithesis of his nature. The holiness of God, therefore reveals that there is no place for sin to reside in the presence of God. Holiness is a descriptor of God and this is the most exalted of his attributes.[1]

Psalm 5:4 (ESV)

For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. [2]

The list of biblical passages that describe the attitude of God toward sin are numerous. From the Old Testament writings of prophets and psalmists that describe the disgust and dislike of the unholy sinful thoughts and actions that became human nature from within the Garden of Eden to the New Testament passages that reveal the debt that sin requires.

Thus, in our “it’s all good” world of moral relativism where people fear being called judgmental for even addressing sinful actions of others, the severity of sin is sadly minimized.

Therefore, as strange as this may sound, I am so very glad that our students are asking such questions. First, the question reveals the understanding, if only at a cursory level, of the reality of sin. Why is this a big deal? Because it turns postmodernism on its head and hearkens back to the absolute truth and reality of righteousness and unrighteousness revealed in Scripture. Second, it peels back a layer of intellect that many have falsely determined to be lost among younger generations. While certainly there are teenagers who have bought into the cult of truthiness, along with its weak, non-existent boundaries of truth, personal identity, and morality (by the way, these grey areas of relativism are not unique to teenagers as generations for decades prior have held to such as well, if only within an approved western construct of human-devised “fairness” and western morality.)

Thus, the starting line for answering such a question is affirmation of the reality of sin. Sin entered the human story in the Garden of Eden as our ancestral grandparents succumbed to the temptations of God’s enemy and believed the lie that God was holding out on them. Eve believed the lie and chose “knowledge” over God. Adam believed the lie and chose Eve over God. Immediately, their eyes were opened and not unlike hitting the wrong link on a scammer’s email, the immediate realization of “Uh oh…I shouldn’t have done that!” became clear. Sin became owned and at that moment, shame was felt. Shame. Fear. Embarrassment.

The image-bearers of God hid (well, they tried) while the enemy laughed.

The deceiver deceived and the attack on God in the name of sin left the two image-bearers wounded on the battlefield. These were not innocents who did not know better. They had been warned. They had been instructed by their loving Father. God knew the temptation would come. And as a loving parent gives clear instructions to children about “stranger danger” we sadly still hear reports of those whom predators seek and trick and harm.

Yet, in this case, these children are not simply ignorant innocents. They are willful rebels. But now…they are sinners.

Maybe you’ve heard Christians describe themselves as “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.” While that may be true to a point, like most Christian phrases that enter our lexicon, the phrase leaves much to be desired as it overly simplifies terms while highlighting and emphasizing the wrong ones. 

Does God hate sin? Yes.

Does God hate sinners? Well…yes.

I’ll address this more in depth on a following post, but suffice to say one of our other Christianese phrases “God hates the sin, but loves the sinner” needs more nuance, and more biblical founding.

God hates sinners as the sin embodies the sinner. It is not sin that ends up in hell for eternity, but sinners. Let’s be very careful to not miss the emphasis on the soul while seeking to explain difficult and challenging issues of faith.

Back to the question from our student: “Does God hate me when I sin?”

If you want a simple, “yes or no” answer, the answer would have to be yes. Now, I know in our western, Christian world today, this rankles some feathers. This really hurts because we have so perpetuated the “You can do it! You’re incredible! You are the champ! Here’s your trophy! You’re the greatest! You can be whatever you want!” mantras in our children. Sadly, some even believe all that. Now, I’m not saying you need to shift to “You’re terrible! You’re a loser! You will never amount to anything!” sayings. Those are just as wrong, if not more so. Yet, the inability to see reality from a biblical perspective leaves many, even some in the church, with a tepid faith that seeks to be fed a spiritualized version of “You’re the greatest” pep-talks.

Therefore, to even be asked such a question by a teenager reveals something I am celebrating. I am celebrating that truth seeps into the heart and mind of believers and pushes up red flags from the ground of spiritualized truthiness that conflicts with biblical truth.

God hates sin. God hates the sinner. How do I know? Because the Bible tells me so.

Psalm 5:4-5 (ESV)

For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. [3]

Who does evil? Sinner. God does not delight in wickedness. Evil may not dwell within him. He hates all evildoers.

Why is this vital to understand? If we don’t, then we strip away the severity of sin and thus turn grace into a big nothing-burger of church talk.

The cross becomes little more than a historic story depicted in paintings and books and movies, but not the ultimate, severe, required blood sacrifice by the Son of God for the payment of the heinous sin that infects us all. If sin is not bad, the blood is not good.

So while it may hurt your feelings to realize that at that moment when sin is reigning in your life, even as a Christian, when you are “putting on the old man” and having an Adam and Eve moment of rebellion, the truth is that deadly, wicked, evil sin is hated and thus…so are you.

But God…

I love this conjunction when it comes to God and me. But God has made a way. Only God could do this. Only God could take the detestable and reconstruct it as beauty. Only God, who knows our thoughts and actions…really knows them when no one else can…knows us for who we really are, not the façade we promote…makes a way. He makes a way and has made a way. That way is Jesus Christ.

Our sin lessens our love for God. The command to the Christian is clear in John’s first letter.

1 John 2:15-16 (ESV)

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.[4]

James warns us of the death that sin (the world) brings.

James 4:4 (ESV)

You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.[5]

It is a challenging reality, this love and hate thing. As children of God, not unlike the prodigal son in the parable found in Luke’s gospel, the father never left the child, nor abandoned him. Thus, it seems that love and hate coexisted. In this way, God can love us with the intent to save us, or for the already saved, forgive us to wholeness, even while he is hating the God-despising rebels we are.[6] 

The bottom line – sin is deadly, dangerous, and evil. May this generation of young people (and the young at heart) be confronted with the reality of sin and even more be overwhelmed by the good, life-changing, hope-giving, undeserved grace of God.

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[1] GotQuestions.org. “Why Does God Hate Sin?” GotQuestions.Org, 11 June 2012, www.gotquestions.org/God-hate-sin.html.

[2] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Ps 5:4). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

[3] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Ps 5:4–5). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

[4] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (1 Jn 2:15–16). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

[5] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Jas 4:4). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

[6] Piper, John. “God Loves the Sinner, but Hates the Sin?” Desiring God, 27 June 2023, www.desiringgod.org/interviews/god-loves-the-sinner-but-hates-the-sin.